August 2008 Archives

Charla Krupp, author of "How Not to Look Old," starts off her book with two words:  "Aging sucks."  I wrote my book with the distinct idea that, no, aging doesn't suck, getting OLD sucks. There's a difference. I theorize that you can get old at any age, and be young, at least in spirit, forever.  Let's define young, however.  I'm young.  But my hair color is distinctly not.  I'm young, but the joint in my shoulder, according to my MRI, is not.  I'm young, but my hangover recovery time is definitely not.  

Recently I've been uniquely aware that from a combination of how I look and how younger people perceive those of us over the age limit, I must present myself in a matter appropriate to someone my age.  It's like dressing for the occasion.   

I recently heard an advertisement on the radio for a new club in town called "Dive Bar."  It was one of those thumping, hectic, "go now," radio ads with an announcer that repeatedly names the advertisers company.  "Dive bar..at DIVE bar, make sure you go to DIVE BAR..."  I rolled my eyes.  I had no desire to go to Dive Bar. Of course, that was obviously what Dive Bar wanted -- to appeal to the same people who shop a heavily fragranced, music thumping Abercrombie and Fitch store.   

I can hear my younger staff talking now about having been to "Dive  Bar" and wasn't it hilarious how Tanya got totally smashed and they had to carry her out and she lost her keys and her cell phone and some woman who had taken a punch at her threw them in the street, and....

Later I can hear them saying "You should come!  We'd have a BLAST!"  

I will repeat,  "No, I've done all that.  You go ahead."

And boom -- I'm old.  I sound old.  I actually sort of feel old.  In a good way, yes, but still, old.  I often wonder what has changed. Aside from the hangover recovery time.  Which seriously, I could get just as trashed right at home in front of my television with my two friends martini and croustini  

A part of me would "TOTALLY" love to go.  But the realization that I am distinctly out of the market for that radio ad gives me a familiar feeling.  The feeling that I'd go, and become strongly aware, of how much older I am than the majority.  

Ever look back and think, "I used to...?" I do. A lot. I work through most of "I used to's.." ending up with either "I'm glad I did," or "at least I did." I rarely think I wish I hadn't. Recently I came across some old footage of a performance of mine for a PBS special with the Erie Philharmonic. It has been nearly 10 years since I stood on that stage with Maestro Eiji Oue conducting. Some things seem like yesterday and some things seem like another lifetime. When I look now at how young I appeared then it seems like incarnations ago. I wanted to share it though, so here it is. I'm glad I did.

I don't know why I'm inspired by women "of a certain age." Tippi Hedren was in Minneapolis being celebrated for her accomplishments in the entertainment industry for Minnesota Proud, a company whose mission it is to celebrate noteworthy Minnesotans. I did her hair and Amy Goulet did her make up. I couldn't decide if I actually admire her because she was once a movie star, and I'm somewhat mesmerized by that entire era, or that she is just so lovely. Lovely and sexy and smart. Confident, and vulnerable, and a Minnesota girl. So is it that? I like that she's one of us? I kept wondering why I was captivated. I still do. Tippi Hedren One of the staff commented, watching as I was cutting her hair, "Christopher is in his glory." She was watching Tippi. The toss of the head, the bat of the eye, the point of the toe, the grace of the hand. And she was right. There is something remarkably pleasant being in the company of a lovely woman. A woman who knows how to be a lady and how to make you want to be a gentleman. Marilyn Carlson Nelson is that way. They command attention and respect by the art of being lovely. So Robert and I went to her reception dinner. She had been up since early that morning, doing media all day, a presentation that lasted over two hours, then arrived at the event, well, still flawlessly beautiful. Lovely. Everything. Gown, earrings, hair, smile. They just don't grow them like that anymore. And she was planted and raised right here. Minnesota. But I realized as I watched her sitting with friends she's known for over 70 years, that they all had a certain loveliness and charm. All from the class of '48, they were slim, hair done, clothes attractive, and, lovely. My mother has the same elegance, and she, well we, are from generations of plain old farm folks. Bean walking, corn detassling, stock car race watching country folks. Judy Garland, Loni Anderson, Marion Ross, Winona Ryder, Arelene Dahl, Cheryl Tiegs, Jane Russell and Ann Sothern are all Minnesota girls. And all have a certain, poise. Something that comes from within. My Mom, Joann Hopkins It's a dying art I feel. And one whose torch I will carry. As long as we bombarded with the Brittney's and Lindsay's and the Paris's as examples of who we have become, I will continue to celebrate the women who give us pride in who we once were. And whom we can aspire to become again. Ann Sothern Winona Ryder

If you're interested in writing a book, or have book ideas, I have a few women who can help. First, the aptly named "Help Me With My Book" is a website operated by Kim Weiss. She's also the publicist for HCI Books, the company that published my "best selling" book, Staging Your Comeback! She's helped me immensely in getting my book out and in the public eye. Another woman who is fantastic at helping with proposals and generally directing you in your quest is Laurie Harper. She really got me focused and able to get off my butt and out of that rutt of...can I really write a book? Her website is "author biz" another great name. On the new books in beauty department, just hot off the press is a great book called "Green Beauty Guide." For those interested in staying natural and keeping pretty, this is a great resource for saving the planet and saving face. What a great combo!