April 2008 Archives

I was born with a foot in my mouth. But now, as a "beauty expert" I sometimes, ok, continually, fail to remember my verbal impact. The impact is felt often by my staff; all whom I enjoy, and who do their best to look their best (whenever I am around). But, I just have this inherent knack for seeing how something could look better. It's instant.
Unfortunately, when expressing my opinion, I have no edit button.

When I was younger I felt my opinion was just an opinion, and, who cares what I think anyway? Now what I think holds just a tad more wallop. My staff, those who last through the first few "I can see your panty lines," and "you need more lipstick" usually appreciate, or at the very least get where I am coming from. But in the beginning, it can be harsh.

So last night, I walk into the salon and one of my new hires was standing there looking beautiful. Instead of just saying "you two look great," I said, "What are you wearing under that?"

Meaning, those low rise slacks will give you a bulge if they are not the right fit and if you wear a tight stretch top. You either need the right shapewear, or a differen top. Simple analysis, simple advice...TRAUMATIZING.

All that young woman will remember for the rest of her days is BULGE. She's probably a size 4. But of course even a size 4 can bulge, and I was put on the earth to help ban the bulges that wreak havoc on a smooth line. I am living my purpose.

Recently, one of the sweetest and cherubic looking women I've had the pleasure of working with walked in with an empire mini dress, tights, and chunky boots. With her creamy skin, and red curly hair what I should have said was "You look adorable." But what came out of my mouth was "You look like a little Prairie Doll."

Blank stare.

"That's a good thing. Prairie Dolls are adorable! "

I mean, I don't recall being offended when I walked into my theater company years ago with the latest wedged haircut and my director said, "You look like a gay tulip."

But then again, I've never forgotten it, either.

Still I realize that what I say has impact, and when the story is told it will be like the game of telephone: "This neckline helps slenderize a fuller face" will forever turn into "he told me my face was fat."

So if what I say is going to evolve into what someone perceives I mean, I figure, just say that, and save the story's evolution. Make it an unchangeable compliment. Like, last night when a friend was obsessing with the blemishes on her chin, I just said,

"Don't fret, it draw attention away from your big butt."

That's a good thing, right?

I had to reprint this email I just received. I hope I get millions more. This is why I do what I do:

Dear Christopher,

I've never written to an author before but I just had to write to tell you how absolutely inspired I am by your book.

I have heard you many times on FM107 on the Laurie & Julia show but I heard about your book on the morning show with Ian and Margery. As soon as I heard you talking about the book, I knew I wanted to get it but it took me over a week to find the time to go to the bookstore and look for it. That's indicative of my life and schedule.

I am 51, I am a single mom of 2 teenage boys (1 of them with developmental disabilities) I have a management level full time job and a lots of dreams about things I haven't quite gotten around to doing yet.

As soon as I started reading your book I realized that when I look at the young ladies in my office who are just getting started in their careers I think " I remember when I used to take time like that to get ready in the morning, when I used to own shoes in every color and my hand bag actually matched my outfit. I remember experimenting with hair styles (some good, some not but at least I was experimenting)"

These days it's become the same pants and tops. Sweaters that come back every winter, T-Shirts in the summer and the most comfy shoes I can find. A little foundation and blush but no time for the eyes or lips. You get the picture.

Your book just shook my world. I started with a little more make-up, Then I bought a short jacket, Then I bought another one with a bracelet that contrasted and stood out. People started noticing, they started asking what was going on. I am loving it!

I brought the book to work, we started passing it around, it started lots of great conversations about what we used to do and why did we stop?

Thanks so much for writing this book. I can't make myself completely over and I can't afford a whole new wardrobe but my whole view of myself is changed and I sure can make an effort to be the best I can be. On the outside I look like a suburban mom, I have always known there is much more to me than that and you gave me permission to let everyone else see it too.

Thanks so much, D.