I was given a couple passes to attend the Republican National Convention’s media party on Saturday night. As Robert and I walked to the event, which was surrounded by the entire Minneapolis police department, we were stopped on the street by some volunteers.

“Welcome to Minnesota!”

“Thanks, we’re from here.”

“Oh.”

“Well, have a good time, you need to walk around two more block in this sweltering heat because we can’t let you just walk that way without ID. But you look really nice…”

Welcome to Minnesota.

We got our clearances, walked into the Guthrie, and ordered a couple “Nasty Nellie’s.” This is the drink that Cue restaurant has created for the production of “Little House on the Prairie, the Musical,” for the Nellie Oleson character made famous by Alison Arngrim’s TV character of the same name. As we watched the thousands of “media types” walk in, our first thought was,

“We're going to need more Nellie's."

As we made our way around the sights and sounds of what must have been themed “Midwestern chic” we were excited to see so many people, but less impressed with the dress. Included were men, who obviously do not own a jacket, and think a party means cargo shorts. Note to men: Cargo shorts are not party attire when you get a pass to get in…and it is surrounded by security and police. Consider it a notch up from mowing the lawn.

Along with thousands of people, comes hundreds of faux pas. I will offer this advice to women everywhere who are not sure what to wear to an outdoor event in the city.

1. When wearing a very short skirt, imagine what it might look like if I happened to be at the bottom of the bleachers and you are sitting at the top. Consider that you might possibly be sitting up somewhere and someone might be sitting lower. As in a bar stool, at the top of a stairway, on the mezzanine where people can look up. Eye level has a new meaning in this situation. Because I can not only see between your thighs, and I know exactly what happens to your flesh when you cross your legs. Let’s keep cellulite a secret and our Brittney’s to ourselves, shall we?

2. We can see your panties -- through your fitted dress. We know if you’re wearing a thong, bikini underwear, full back panties or boy shorts. And, we know if they’re too big, too small, or “riding up.” There isn’t an unlined pencil skirt, slip dress, or fitted sheath that doesn’t reveal what lies beneath. A light shaper. Or a slip. Or both. Unless of course you’re unaware we’re playing “Guess what panties she’s wearing,” while we sip our third Nasty Nellie.

3. When the wind blows your dress between your legs, we can see more than you think.

“Brazilian?”

“I’d say.”

If it’s a thin unlined fabric, a slip will assist so that the fabric can SLIP off that which you’d rather it not cling.

I know I sound a little snarky. It might be the whole republican convention thing going on here. Snark is in the air. Though we’re being “Minnesota nice,” we’re a swing state. So the only reason we’re being nice is to get what we want. And all we want is to go to a party and not be distracted by bushes.

Ever look back and think, "I used to...?" I do. A lot. I work through most of "I used to's.." ending up with either "I'm glad I did," or "at least I did." I rarely think I wish I hadn't.

Recently I came across some old footage of a performance of mine for a PBS special with the Erie Philharmonic. It has been nearly 10 years since I stood on that stage with Maestro Eiji Oue conducting. Some things seem like yesterday and some things seem like another lifetime. When I look now at how young I appeared then it seems like incarnations ago. I wanted to share it though, so here it is.

I'm glad I did.

I don’t know why I’m inspired by women “of a certain age.” Tippi Hedren was in Minneapolis being celebrated for her accomplishments in the entertainment industry for Minnesota Proud, a company whose mission it is to celebrate noteworthy Minnesotans. I did her hair and Amy Goulet did her make up.

I couldn’t decide if I actually admire her because she was once a movie star, and I’m somewhat mesmerized by that entire era, or that she is just so lovely. Lovely and sexy and smart. Confident, and vulnerable, and a Minnesota girl. So is it that? I like that she’s one of us? I kept wondering why I was captivated. I still do.

Tippi Hedren

One of the staff commented, watching as I was cutting her hair, “Christopher is in his glory.” She was watching Tippi. The toss of the head, the bat of the eye, the point of the toe, the grace of the hand. And she was right. There is something remarkably pleasant being in the company of a lovely woman. A woman who knows how to be a lady and how to make you want to be a gentleman. Marilyn Carlson Nelson is that way. They command attention and respect by the art of being lovely.

So Robert and I went to her reception dinner. She had been up since early that morning, doing media all day, a presentation that lasted over two hours, then arrived at the event, well, still flawlessly beautiful. Lovely. Everything. Gown, earrings, hair, smile. They just don’t grow them like that anymore. And she was planted and raised right here. Minnesota.

But I realized as I watched her sitting with friends she’s known for over 70 years, that they all had a certain loveliness and charm. All from the class of ’48, they were slim, hair done, clothes attractive, and, lovely.

My mother has the same elegance, and she, well we, are from generations of plain old farm folks. Bean walking, corn detassling, stock car race watching country folks. Judy Garland, Loni Anderson, Marion Ross, Winona Ryder, Arelene Dahl, Cheryl Tiegs, Jane Russell and Ann Sothern are all Minnesota girls. And all have a certain, poise. Something that comes from within.

My Mom, Joann Hopkins
It’s a dying art I feel. And one whose torch I will carry. As long as we bombarded with the Brittney’s and Lindsay’s and the Paris’s as examples of who we have become, I will continue to celebrate the women who give us pride in who we once were. And whom we can aspire to become again.

Ann Sothern

Winona Ryder

If you’re interested in writing a book, or have book ideas, I have a few women who can help. First, the aptly named “Help Me With My Book” is a website operated by Kim Weiss. She’s also the publicist for HCI Books, the company that published my “best selling” book, Staging Your Comeback! She's helped me immensely in getting my book out and in the public eye. Another woman who is fantastic at helping with proposals and generally directing you in your quest is Laurie Harper. She really got me focused and able to get off my butt and out of that rutt of...can I really write a book? Her website is “author biz” another great name.

On the new books in beauty department, just hot off the press is a great book called “Green Beauty Guide.” For those interested in staying natural and keeping pretty, this is a great resource for saving the planet and saving face. What a great combo!

Staging Your Comeback has been such a consistent seller at Wal-Mart over the past couple months that it has been picked up for six different Mod sets (planograms in Wal-Mart speak) in the Fall. To put that in perspective, the only other title that HCI publishes that had more Mod sets was "A Child Called It."

Also, sales at Target have been so good that the book has been chosen for the planogram in 1,561 stores! Currently, it is on a best seller promotion because of the TV exposure. Since then sell through continues to exceed expectations and the book will move to the planogram (Life and Home section).

The book continues to hold its own on Amazon as number two in Beauty and Health (and I’m going to make sure it gets to number one!). Feel free to add a review if you have not (and you like the book!). I can use all the good reviews I can get.

Little House on the Prairie, The Musical
a must see for fans of the books and show

I had the great fun of going to the first preview of "Little House on the Prairie, The Musical" which is showing at the Guthrie and headed to Broadway. Sold out until October, the Musical has Melissa Gilbert playing Ma. I had the entertainment value of attending with Alison Arngrim (Television’s Nellie Oleson) which, of course, made the experience more interesting (and hilarious). Drinks after the show with Melissa, Alison, and other cast members reminded me why I so pleased to no longer be “in theater.” The drama, the angst, the who am I, am I good enough, who are you, I don’t care.

We did give Alison a tour of Minneapolis, complete with the flour tower tour at the Mill City Museum. A must experience if ever in the Twin Cities. Later we took her to a party at the Chambers hotel, where, gay icon that she is, she was inundated with men who LOVED that character. I looked over and she was sitting on a chair surrounded by grown men on the floor looking up at her with bright smiles and laughter. Shows you you CAN be a bitch and be loved.

See?

Christopher Hopkins, Tennis Star

If you have a chance to grab one of the last remaining tickets (O.K. there are tons) to the Ronald McDonald House Classic Golf and Tennis Tournament on Monday, August 4th, you will be able to watch (and play alongside) local "celebrities" and do something good for charity.

I have decided that yes, I will actually attempt to play tennis, something I have not done since 1984. Maybe 1982. And as memory serves me, I wasn't very good then. Which is why I quit. My parents TRIED to find a sport in which I could excel. I wrestled (where I just laid laughing when I got pinned "This is ridiculous"). I played basketball (where I knocked someone's tooth out doing lay ups, and was penalized for "traveling" having NO idea what that meant). I was in Little League (where I walked to first because the ball hit me in the arm, only later to get a black eye in the outfield when the ball rolled to me, hit a bump and popped up into my face). I shan't forget Miss Gullickson, the 7th the Phy Ed coach shouting "Hopkins, you pansy!" when I complained about doing ANOTHER 50 yard dash. I mean seriously, why? She must 60 something and arthritic now. One can only hope.

So for the entertainment value alone, come play tennis with us. Or golf. Or just watch and be entertained with bafoonery. I must go shopping for an outfit. I mean, I should really get on the court and practice.

I just returned from a book signing event in my hometown of Redwood Falls. Redwood Falls, Minnesota is a town of about 5000 people and is 2 hours (we use time instead of distance) southwest of the Twin Cities. Sort of like those on the coasts like to think the Midwest as “fly over” territory, people in the Twin Cities at times tend to think of rural areas as, well, provincial.

They’d be wrong.

As I greeted women and signed books at A & W Furniture and Gifts,one of the largest furniture show rooms in Minnesota, I was once again reminded of the lovely women from where I was raised. The women who we saw every day as our teachers, secretaries, board members and Moms – those Mom’s who showed up for Parent/Teacher conferences and sporting events and who we secretly compared to our own. What I remember, "back then,” was that the ladies in my hometown knew how to make themselves attractive. They had their hair done, their nails were manicured, and they wore fresh and classic looks that represented their sense of style. Their look was based on appropriate for the occasion. Women dressed up for church, out of respect. Teachers dressed professionally and attractively out of respect for their profession and their students. Men wore jackets. Sales clerks got ready for work. Moms walked through the park with tans, short shorts, and cute figures. Though the community’s industry was based primarily on agriculture and manufacturing, there was a sense of respect and pride in appearance that raised the image of the small community.

But the world changed. Casual, relaxed, comfortable and “who cares?” took over in the 70’s and 80’s and by the time we hit the 90’s it had transformed the urban, took over the sub-urban and slayed the rural with a vengeance. Cut-off shorts and sweats at Church? Absolutely.

“God doesn’t care what you wear.”

Ill fitting, poorly made flimsy knits suctioned to figures that embraced curly fries?

“I’m just running to the store.”

But I was given a gift last night. A reminder that not everyone has “gone with it.” I was reminded as I saw those same teachers, secretaries, board members and Mom’s, now older but still oddly as I remember them, of what I loved about my home town. A sense of right. A sense of respect for the occasion. An effort made when it would be so much easier to not. A belief that it doesn’t matter where you live; it is how you live.

I knew they did it, in part, for me. They know I have become “The Makeover Guy” and I was signing a book about beauty. They knew I’d notice. But I also knew they did it for themselves. They “got ready.”

And I realized again that it is from those women, in large part, that I built my voice. Their influence helped in how I wrote my book and to whom I was speaking. And it reminded me of what I loved about growing up in a town that took pride in its appearance, its sense and respect for occasion. It reminded me that how we appear speaks so much more about our self respect and respect for others than anything we do or say.

You won’t convince me that appearance isn’t important. It certainly isn’t everything, but it represents everything you are saying when there isn’t time to say a thing.

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The Book Signing Event in Redwood Falls, MN
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Classmate Erik Scholl's Mom, Bev and his sister Jane
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English Teacher Sandi Schwartz getting "free" advice
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Aunt Mary Wetmore and her daughter Emily (who would want me to make a point that she is pregnant here).

Our flight is delayed. Again. Robert and I are sitting in the Seattle Airport with our Grey Goose martini’s up, twist. I prefer olives, but am avoiding the salt. TV you know. Adds 10 pounds of water.

We have respite from the TV appearances, and I’m taking the opportunity to consider myself on vacation. I started in Chicago, flew to New York, then onto Seattle where I just finished my segment with KOMO-TV Seattle. It was a blast. It was fun to do in the news room and to have a live audience. I do better with a live audience. I leave satisfied I know what happened. When I don’t get instant unbiased feedback, I find that I replay the segment continually in my head trying to remember what was said, and how. With an audience I get a reaction and I know how I was received. Good or bad, I can let it go.

Christopher on ABC 7 News Chicago

Christopher on KOMO 4 in Seattle

Not so the Today Show. I have been replaying the segment in my head over and over and I still don’t know how it went. I am TOLD it went well. I received positive comments from the producers, the women in the green room who watched the segment, Robert, my P.R. people from Hoda herself and from the sexy camera guy who gave me the thumbs up. Not sure if it was about the segment, but I don’t care.

What I recall is that as I sat on 1/3 of three stools, up walked Hoda Kotb, with a gracious hand shake and a “I really liked your book” compliment complete with genuine smile. Tension slightly relieved until Miss Kathie Lee followed her with a “Yes, very good, it’s all bunk…back hand. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt that it was a make me laugh jab. I do the same thing. When something is obviously good, rather than be obvious, I try to balance the compliment with a slightly sarcastic joke. “You’d look great with a little color,” I’ll say to a tan woman, or “You should try wearing earrings,” I might mention to a woman with huge discs hanging from her ears. I mean well, but I might not be interpreted as, well, meaning well. I do this with friends however, or strangers who I think will get it.

So, I gave her the BOTD. What could I do? We were on in a minute so I tossed a compliment. She is quite pretty in person. She accepted gracefully but kept a professional distance. Almost cynical. We all had polite dialog until the segment began.

Christopher Hopkins with Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb, Today Show

Now we are on to San Francisco where, I have every intention of celebrating with abandon. Robert just took a photo of me. I’m starting now.